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- Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad New Year's Eve Party
-
- 10. Brand of champagne: Dom Deluise
-
- 9. At midnight everyone gathers around to watch your Uncle Earl's pants
- drop
-
- 8. You wake up the next morning wearing a medallion and there's a note
- from Al Sharpton,
-
- 7. You hear a guy count down before using the bathroom
-
- 6. Joycelyn Elders is there trying to get herself drunk
-
- 5. It's eleven o'clock at night, and you're watching Roger Ebert play
- Twister
-
- 4. Six times in a row, a champagne cork lodges in your trachea
-
- 3. The so-called "Party Hats" are really Letterman's old hairpieces
-
- 2. Everyone's gathered around the TV watching that geezer from "American
- Bandstand"
-
- 1. It's over by 9:30
-
- Letterman, 1/1/96
- ) 1996 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. All Rights Reserved
-